Rogue Post
Today's lesson is the beginning of a new week, and the topic is Shame. There aren't any questions today, but I feel like I'd like to get in here already and start opening myself up about shame.
Many say Shame and Guilt are the lowest vibration emotions we can have. I agree with that. And I think Shame is the lowest, because it's self-inflicted.
I may have said outright, or alluded, or at least thought to myself, that finances and my body seems to have a lot of overlap. When I was reading the first week about Shame, I thought of what has helped add weight to my body over the years.
I was a VERY sexual-feeling adolescent. When my hormones kicked in, or my sexual energy, it was running rampant through my body. I did many things that were perceived by the outside world as shameful, and that led to me feeling shame about them when they were seen by others.
I still believe to this day, if I were able to find an outlet for all of that energy - and I don't necessarily mean by fucking someone - my entire life would be completely different. Actually, I know that to be true. Instead, however, I hid it and stifled it and made it naughty and, finally, over the years, suppressed it enough that it's almost totally gone from my life now. Now I'm on a mission of re-igniting it, and it's like trying to start a fire with damp wood.
I know this is the journey of a lifetime, and I really believe to my bones all things happen for a reason. But, the point in this story is how strong Shame can be. Shame over feeling and acting on this torrent inside of me. Later, shame over allowing people to access it with me who were fucking emotional dicks to me. Now, shame over the body I've created to try to hide it or make people not respond to it in me.
It's all the same shame. And I might say, the weight I'm holding is actually holding the energy of sex for me in potential so I don't have to feel it coursing through my body and not know how to handle it.
Many say Shame and Guilt are the lowest vibration emotions we can have. I agree with that. And I think Shame is the lowest, because it's self-inflicted.
I may have said outright, or alluded, or at least thought to myself, that finances and my body seems to have a lot of overlap. When I was reading the first week about Shame, I thought of what has helped add weight to my body over the years.
I was a VERY sexual-feeling adolescent. When my hormones kicked in, or my sexual energy, it was running rampant through my body. I did many things that were perceived by the outside world as shameful, and that led to me feeling shame about them when they were seen by others.
I still believe to this day, if I were able to find an outlet for all of that energy - and I don't necessarily mean by fucking someone - my entire life would be completely different. Actually, I know that to be true. Instead, however, I hid it and stifled it and made it naughty and, finally, over the years, suppressed it enough that it's almost totally gone from my life now. Now I'm on a mission of re-igniting it, and it's like trying to start a fire with damp wood.
I know this is the journey of a lifetime, and I really believe to my bones all things happen for a reason. But, the point in this story is how strong Shame can be. Shame over feeling and acting on this torrent inside of me. Later, shame over allowing people to access it with me who were fucking emotional dicks to me. Now, shame over the body I've created to try to hide it or make people not respond to it in me.
It's all the same shame. And I might say, the weight I'm holding is actually holding the energy of sex for me in potential so I don't have to feel it coursing through my body and not know how to handle it.
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