MyFinancialCourse

Let's talk about this again, shall we? I discontinued with my financial course because there was supposedly a week focused on goals, but we were never actually asked to create a goal. Which is true. Then, later, the course implied we should be working on our goals. And I'm like "what the fuck?! We never set any goals!" Oh, my god, even just typing that I'm getting roiling in my solar plexus and anxious and I think my hands are about to break into a sweat. Now I'm crying. Really. As with my once upon a training, and the direction in this course, the experiences that come up in my body are really the things to be with in this journey. That's where I know what's really going on. And my body's in distress just thinking about all this. I hopped on here today because I decided to look at the financial course again. Let me just see what the next lesson is and maybe I can continue. The lesson is about more goals (duh) and just reading the word ...

Alright, time to get real... I have been doing network marketing for one month now. When I write that, I get some movement in my abdomen. I have come to a place in the last few days where I am questioning moving forward with this company, etc, etc, etc. I recognize this for what it is: My Resistance. My resistance is quite brilliant. It has conjured many very reasonable excuses for not moving forward. One excuse, for example, is the ingredients in these products are sometimes not up to the standards that I have held in the past for products I use internally or topically. This seems like a very good excuse. A very good one, right? Is this in alignment with my beliefs? Do I agree with this? I have turned away other products for the exact same reasons in the past, and so on. I laid down in a moment of exhaustion (from my brain circling, and also from just having done some pranayama that moved energy that I'm now wrestling) and put my hands together in prayer and asked my...

Ok, OKAYYYYYYY, I haven't continued with my financial course. I kind of can't get over the lack of seeming support around creating a goal. As I write about this I feel choked up in my throat and like some pressure is ballooning out from my solar plexus. My jaw feels tight. Just took a breath..... Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Alright. When I got home from Spain I decided to sign up for It Works. As a distributor. Now, what in the freak does this mean? I'm feeling that pressure again. I decided to advertise It Works products in order to potentially make residual income. Even writing that it feels like my arms want to stop working. I feel weak/heavy/exhausted in my torso and face. Now, my financial course did remind me not to skip over the body sensations. They may actually be the most important part of this whole thing. So....when I first signed up I thought "I don't want to ask people." I was drawn in by how this woman's life changed and then I started...