MyFinancialCourse

I kind of checked out of this week when I realized I believe there is no paradox between facing the reality you've created, and creating a different one by conscious choice. So, let me look at these questions again. Do you tend to gravitate strongly to one viewpoint over the other? No, they're one and the same. Do you see this as a weakness or a strength. . . or both? There are specific parts of the reality that I've created that I don't look at closely because I'm not ready to deal with them. This is true with all humans. Denial is a survival mechanism. But I feel like I deal with reality better now than ever in the past - what I've already created, and what I want to create. Are you worried you might become a romantic dreamer or a narrow and pessimistic pragmatist? Yes What would the best possible balance between these worldviews look like? Presence

This is the first time I've chosen the picture before writing the blog. Maybe I want to change my title to Intense Hunger rather than Starvation. We'll see... I'm not sure yet if this will be cohesive, or a series of thoughts. Again, we'll see. I believe I have mentioned before that oftentimes when I think of money, I also think of food. The two are very linked for me. I have similar habits when it comes to both, and they seem to flux at the same time. I was thinking the other day about my early adulthood. I went through several years after leaving college where I just didn't have very much money. I remember when $8/hour seemed like a lot. Then I went down to 6.50. Then up to 10; that was just amazing. When I was in school for massage at the age of 19-20, I remember being quite broke. I worked the breakfast buffet at a hotel where people would tip $1 for me to get their drinks. In a four hour shift, this doesn't accrue much. When I was 22 I worked at...

"Reality is not something you face but something that you're Creating. In my own experience and that of many of the spiritual-minded types I've consulted with, this paradox is often the thing that most motivates and inhibits their success. Is "Creating Your Own Reality" a highly evolved, deeper perception of Truth that liberates and Transforms our entire experience. . . or basically just total B.S.? Most importantly, can we strike a balance between the two diametrically opposed viewpoints?" First of all, I don't think these two things are a paradox. We are creating our reality. Many of us do not want to see, however, that what is around us right now is what we've created. I believe that is where we get stuck.  I have no savings right now. I have created that. (I notice sensation coming up in my solar plexus).  I have the capability right now to pay down 3 of my 4 credit cards in one month each. I have not chosen to do that. Instead, I ...

When you think about waking up to the reality of your financial life, how does you body respond? Right now I have some nerves in my solar plexus that are feeling activated. It could be because of an email I sent a friend of mine. But I feel nervous and a little cold-sweaty.  When I think of waking up to my financial life, I feel fear rising up from my belly. There is a thought that accompanies it, like "what if I don't have what I think I have," or "what if facing reality shows me I don't have shit?" This is funny because this didn't come up in the Facing Reality lesson a few moments ago. My solar plexus feels a little tied in knots. I feel tingling sensation going down my thighs. Emotion is welling up in my eyes. 

Here are the questions: How often is your view of reality----especially your financial reality----colored by the past? And how much of it is colored by indulging in fantasies (or melancholy regrets) of how you wish it were different? Looking more deeply, on a philosophical level do you believe that there's basically only one factual viewpoint of reality. . . or that absolutely everything is up for interpretation? Here is what this lesson brought up in me: Right now, I am on my couch. Pillow in lap, laptop on pillow. My cat is to my left, curled up on a blanket and leaning against my leg. My dog is further to the left, curled up on another blanket. This is my reality as it exists at this moment. There is nowhere else I need to be or appointment I need to keep at this moment.  My mind, however, is building pressure in my body about going to the bank and the grocery store and the stack of stuff on the coffee table and how I will have to move and change out of my robe ...

Catch up time again! Five lessons to do today. Today -  Right now, which concept excites you more: Facing Reality vs Creating it? Which do you think more accurately reflects your experience in the world? I think this is a great question. I also really like that the author started this lesson by calling it a paradox. Where I have come from over the last decade, people want to ONLY create reality while ignoring what's in front of them.  Then, in the "regular" world, it's the opposite. People have little genuine concept they can create (practically and magically) what they want, but instead are lost only in what's in front of them.  Both of these ways are out of balance. I have been lost on both sides of this. I am currently working to find strength in both places.  Back to the question - which excites me more? I don't know that facing reality excites me, but it doesn't make me squirm the way it once did. I think my reality is pretty good for the mome...

What did you learn about how you might be avoiding things now or in the past? I learned I am surprised by what and how I avoid. I avoid looking at how much money I make. Interesting. And I learned that my body goes into mild panic mode when I think about delving into what I'm avoiding. What's your style and strategy for sidetracking yourself from that which might best serve you? My style often comes up with distracting thoughts. All throughout the week, when I open the Lessons, my brain thinks of 20 other things to do in order to not attend to the lesson. I didn't really have this experience this week, but what I said earlier is also true: if I have an extreme emotional response to something I just throw my hands in the air and say "Fuck It" to any of the good things I'm trying to create.  How comfortable are you with being uncomfortable? It depends. Sometimes I walk right into the discomfort on purpose. Other times I just let it go by.  ...

Do you authentically believe that once you move past what you're avoiding that a more authentic, much deeper level of happiness and security awaits? Yes, I do believe that. I would also like to respond to a question that was not asked: how does my body feel about this?  This week, each Lesson I open, I definitely want to avoid. This is what is coming up in my body reading today's lesson: I feel a shimmer in my throat and chest. I feel like a lot of my sensation went to the surface of my body away from my core. It feels like panic. My palms are getting a little sweaty. I feel a lump coming up my throat. My arms are starting to shake a little bit now. A wave of emotion is coming up. I just took a breath. I still have some shaking. It's behind my neck and head now.  Well that is just fascinating. All this body sensation and process just from thinking about what I'm not thinking about. My mind is trying to go on a bunch of different paths into overwhelm, and I'...

"Avoidance is the best short-term strategy to escape conflict and the best long-term strategy to ensure suffering." Brendon Burchard Long-term, avoidance, as the quote above summarizes, is guaranteed to ensure our long-term suffering. Why do you think that is? Funny, I kind of want to avoid answering this question. It could be because I drank many drinks last night (an excellent form of avoidance) and my brain is not wanting to focus. Or, it could be because I really want to avoid looking at my avoidance. Regardless, here I am. Not avoiding avoidance.  Just because we attempt not to look at something does not mean it doesn't exist. Our experiences have an impact on us, our bodies, our brains, our lives, etc. Turning our heads means not dealing with what is impacting us or how it's impacting us. The more compartmentalized we are, the more dysfunction we create. I am a massage therapist (among other things). I had a client asking me the other day ...

I really like the method of this Financial Course. A new lesson each day. I look forward to getting into them. Again, if you're interested: DailyOM.com A Year to Get Rich with Purpose The first few days of the week are just to spark some thoughts; no particular questions. The next few days there are some self-awareness questions to answer. Then there's a week-end review (this seems to be where I've had my greatest Ah-hahs so far). This lesson is in the Spark-My-Awareness category, but it brought up some peripheral stuff in my mind that I want to jot down. What my Gremlins do to help me sabotage my efforts. What is their strategy? I have noticed the primary thing that gives me an excuse to sabotage any effort I'm making is some emotional turmoil. Whether I'm eating healthier, paying down my credit cards, working out regularly or keeping my house clean consistently, one "BIG" emotional breakdown and I have full excuse to jump right off that train...

This week we explored the idea of Checking In. What was this experience like for you? Did it--somewhat ironically--make you want to Check Out? Or did you find yourself wanting to go deeper with your awareness. What about the list of Baby Steps? Was that overwhelming or inspiring? Whats been revealed or clarified for you this week? Since I only have a few minutes to respond, I'm going to answer generally, rather than each question specifically.  I notice that, so far, I respond to the lessons in the morning, and I don't think a WHOLE lot about it afterward. Sometimes, the gentle revelations I have come back up in my mind later that day, or maybe even a couple of days later. But, on the whole I'm not thinking about this course much when I'm not doing it.  The last lesson was about Awareness. Once we have awareness, things begin to shift on their own. I think that's the place I'm in right now. The further I go, the more I imagine these lesson...

46:" This week I want you to spend no more than three to five minutes simply brainstorming what steps you could take to go beyond just the toe in the water of Checking In with your Numbers." I'm setting a timer: I currently know the balances on my accounts. I could see how much dent I'm making on my credit cards with the minimum payment I could add $10/mo to each one to make more of a dent I know my checking account. I could set up another savings account Sometimes I like to tithe. I could tithe 5% to start. I need to look at my traffic ticket again and get an idea what's going on there I am paying taxes. I was thinking I could chunk out how much I need to pay per day, but sometimes that distresses me.  I could come up with a different system of divying my finances. That sounds and feels lame. I could look into a retirement I could look into some investments I can look into ways my money can work for me I can look into other income streams again. ...

While there are no particular questions for this lesson, something struck me as I was reading this lesson. The author writes: " I find that those drawn to my work with Wealth Expansion range from a little to extremely Checked Out about their finances." If you remember from last week, I feel quite good about what I know about my numbers. I know my accounts, their balances, I check in with these things multiple times per week.  So I felt some discomfort reading this statement from the author. I recognize it's because I am still quite checked out. About what, you ask? I asked too. I'm checked out about how much I make. Even though I am currently making $1000 more a month than I was earlier this year (what?!), it all still feels like it's on a wing and a prayer! Let me say more: I attended a school that I loved, and that school helped me peel back layers of myself that were not functioning well. It opened me and tuned me to the part of me inside that knows wha...

This week we explored the idea of Getting Grounded by Warming Up to the Numbers in our Financial Lives. What emotions arose for you? Surprisingly, the emotions that arose for me from the questions that were asked were relief and a feeling of success. I feel like I have a clue. What insights? I have been more connected to my financial world than ever before in my life. Are you excited for whats next? Anxious and excited. Or would you rather we stayed focused in our spiritual/emotional lives? No, I need both.

40: What happens in your body when you start Warming Up and getting specific with your numbers? Thinking about what I answered in the last questions, the finances I do have together, I feel a little tingling in my throat and upper abdomen.  When I think about the things I "don't" have, like savings, retirement, I get a much stronger tingling in my throat that feels a little aggravated. 41: N ote where you think you are right now when it comes to being in touch with the Number Reality of your current finances. Thinking about this, I was able to take a breath. I feel like I have some good awareness. One single number doesn't stick out, but I know my balances. I don't know my interest rates, but I know how I'm chipping away (or not) on my credit cards each month. I know where my money's going. 

Because I got a little behind, I admittedly whizzed through the last few emails from Daily OM. There's a meditation I'll need to go back and do. Today's questions, however, are "how accessible are your financial records?" There are more questions than that, but that's the gist. All of my records are online. I access nearly all of them on a weekly basis, if not daily. I use an app to "balance my checkbook" where I look at my finances and what I've spent and what bills I have coming up close to every day. I have an account of investments that I just kind of ignore. It has about $100 in it. Off-shoot of that thought really quick - I don't know how I feel about stock market investing. Yes I do. I feel like the stock market is a giant place of potential, and is totally false and constructed. But don't I believe in potential? Hmmm...maybe I don't know how I feel about it. This year alone I have kept my business receipts in one pl...

I got a little behind again. Mostly, because I want to give the answering of these questions some Space, and I have had little. Or I have made little. Review on releasing shame: I feel like I get so much clarity on review day. I haven't found much deep connection to Shame itself (probably because it's well buried), but I realized as I was reading the review, I have begun to pay attention when I'm inclined to lie or shy from the full truth. For example, I'm in a text conversation with a man whom I barely know. He is asking me some questions; I am answering them slowly. And I notice I want to lie. Like I'm afraid to admit this or that. Really, the thought behind it is I don't really want to tell him the personal things related to the questions he's asking. But, underneath this, or any lie maybe, is something related to shame. Or some part of myself that feels not strong enough to be expressed in a clear way. The connection here feels more like a Knowin...