Does It Works?

Ok, OKAYYYYYYY, I haven't continued with my financial course. I kind of can't get over the lack of seeming support around creating a goal.

As I write about this I feel choked up in my throat and like some pressure is ballooning out from my solar plexus. My jaw feels tight. Just took a breath.....

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Alright. When I got home from Spain I decided to sign up for It Works. As a distributor. Now, what in the freak does this mean? I'm feeling that pressure again.

I decided to advertise It Works products in order to potentially make residual income.

Even writing that it feels like my arms want to stop working. I feel weak/heavy/exhausted in my torso and face.

Now, my financial course did remind me not to skip over the body sensations. They may actually be the most important part of this whole thing.

So....when I first signed up I thought "I don't want to ask people." I was drawn in by how this woman's life changed and then I started feeling the same thing when I used the products. I want people to be drawn in by that. Cool. That's great. Then I saw someone saying "attraction over promotion" and I'm like THAT'S ME! I want to attract people rather than promote my thing. Ok, fine. Sure. That sounds reasonable.

Then, I went and got a session. About Self-Worth. It was actually pretty deep and intense. A lot of energy moved in my body, and lot of stored stuff got re-circulated, particularly out of my solar plexus. Beyond that, there was conversation. When I see this person for sessions, there's usually stuff I want to talk about.

The words he said that stick with me now were a reflection of what I think, but could talk myself out of when I felt scared. "Go where the juice is. This may be something you stick with for a long time or not, but there is juice in there. There is the feeling of rejection, the challenge of asking people, the challenge of putting yourself in front of people." This is actually a combination of his words and my thoughts.

But it's true, and when I can look at this objectively, that's what I'm really after. I'm after NOT stopping myself because I feel insecure. There are so many ways I've excelled at moving forward being myself, but there are still so many ways I stop myself. And fuck, "sales" is a fucking challenge.

My words my whole life "I hate sales people. I'm not a salesperson. I don't want to manipulate people. so on so on so on."

Well, the truth is, I've found something in these products. Other people might be looking for what I've found. If they are, I could certainly reach out and ask them. They may not even know where to look.

The deeper truth is I want to feel empowered in my life and my body. And one of the most important and profound ways to do that is strengthen the places that are weak. Go to the places that are scary. I might find love there.