Lesson 17 Open to Transform

This is what today's lesson asked me:

Spend a moment examining any areas of your life where you've experienced a persistent struggle.
Have you truly been willing to change?

My response: most days I sit with the message or question, feel my body, breathe. Today, I read this, attempted to sit with it, got distracted and started looking at all my credit card accounts and facebook. When I notice I'm doing this, I recognize it as a loop. My mind wants to distract me from feeling what I feel. My first thought about this question was my body. I recently released 40 pounds, and then have been at the same place for a few months. I was noticing this morning how bloated I am even though I've been eating more cleanly than I have for years, with the only exceptions being some cleanses. So, am I willing to change? What would it be like to open this up and drop into the next healthiest level for my body? I feel fear come up to the surface of my skin when I type that question. Am I willing to change? 
Fear of stepping into myself more deeply, fear of becoming that much more responsible, fear of being that much more seen, fear of committing to something as my lifestyle rather than a temporary flirtation.....

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